America Prepares for a Plague of ‘Trillions’ of Locusts

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America Prepares for a Plague of 'Trillions' of Locusts


 

We’ve had racial strife, violent riots, a pummeling pandemic, a medical meltdown, electoral outrage, chaos at the Capitol…

Amid the pestilence, how’s about a plague?

Right in time for a new era in Washington, just as Left and Right America’s opening its mouth for our brand spanking 4-year shouting match…a big fat bug’s ready to fly right in.

Up-in-arms orators, sink your teeth into this: Along the eastern seaboard — and for the first time in 17 years — cicadas are about to appear above ground.

Mark it on your calendars: The ascension’s set for May.

And how many locusts are we lookin’ at?

That’d be trillions.

In fact, scientists have a name for our new critter companions: Brood.

#Perfect

According to Entomology Professor Emeritus Michael J. Raupp, the incomers are poised for a population density of up to 1.5 million per acre.

They’ll make their migration once the soil reaches 64 degrees.

Details from The Daily Caller:

North American cicadas are grouped into fifteen geographically discrete broods, according to National Geographic. Brood 9 cicadas appeared in southwestern Virginia, southern West Virginia, and small parts of North Carolina in 2020.

The batch about to buzz us is Brood 10.

It’s a nice, round number, and it seems fitting; it’s been quite the year for critters.

In May, I warned of the coronavirus cannibal rat.

In December, I wrote of vicious squirrel assaults.

And how can we forget the might magnificent murder hornet?

As noted by CBS News, Brood 10 cicadas eat tree sap underground while in the larvae state. In order to mate — like, perhaps some of you — they require a temperature of at least 68 degrees.

Despite animals and insects cramping our style as of late, as we peer down the barrel of 2020, I still find hope in a resolute rodent, halfway around the world.

From late last year:

On November 14th, a deadly storm struck Marikina City in the Metro Manila area.

The water line rose to punishing heights.

With the wretched rain manifesting a 6-ft pool of mud and mayhem, how would all survive?

How indeed, particularly those not even 10 inches tall…

Amid the treachery, a little lone survivor surfaced.

And his sight has now gone viral, its spectacle a profound punch to the punim amid our presently punishing political and pandemic’d plight.

Ladies and gentlemen, to borrow from the boob tube, This is Us.

Or, at least, I hope it is:

But if we sink — if things go as poorly as possible…

As indicated by National Geographic, most cicadas are edible.

-ALEX

 

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